I am a dreamer.
My life isn’t perfect. I don’t have squeaky clean floors, I have some really icky relationships with some pretty important people to my life, and I’ve had to kick and scream and claw, and scrap my way to where I am now. I have struggled with my mental health, from the bottom up, and I am not too terribly shy about it. I mean I haven’t been ultra-outgoing about my struggles but I haven’t hidden them either. I’m not ashamed of who I am and I choose to live unapologetically.
That’s were Humphy Happy Girl comes into play. I’ve wanted to pursue writing and blogging for a very long time, for over 10 years I’ve had this idea of what I want to do, but never the courage or confidence to just go for it. Last summer has been full of with some really hard situations and some really happy great moments too. With everything that has happened though, something has kind of switched in my heart and I want so badly to make something of it.
It just kind of clicked, “It may be July, and I may be 25, but I’ve learned something through this summer. I am not ashamed of who I am or who I love and have in my life. I’m quite proud of my relationships. I have worked hard to maintain them, and I am happy to have good quality relationships over quantity of relationships. I work hard and I am strong and brave and I deserve to be respected and treated well or I can walk away. I know who I am and what I deserve and I refuse to accept anything less.” I feel like if I believe that, which I do very much, I have to give myself the credit and chance to start this adventure and put myself out there. For another five months I’ve struggled with having the confidence to work on this, it’s already the end of January again, and I’m finally starting this adventure over.
So I am almost 26 years old, a fairly newly wed, ambitious, creative, crazy person, with a great sense of humor, and a killer wit. I love myself and my mind. Don’t get me wrong, there are parts of me that I don’t quite like, and I am not happy with all of me, but everyone takes a little bit of work.
I am a Christian, it’s a big part of who I am and how I live my life. I know where my identity comes from and quieting that inner voice that says I’m not enough, or just too much is my biggest struggle. I know that everyone has their opinions on Christians and their beliefs. I believe in love for humanity, even the broken humans, I believe in salvation for anyone who wants to know Christ and pursue him in their lives, and I believe in a God bigger than ANYTHING else.
I was born and raised in Colorado, with some time in the city, a tiny plains town. I grew up in a community just outside of Pueblo, CO. I spent the majority of my life in and around that city that feels like such a small town in southern Colorado. Colorado will always be my first home and I am very in love with the state, there are so many places to explore, and see. It’s truly beautiful and God’s country is a great description.
When I was 22, I moved to the Pocono Mountains in Pennsylvania for a brief ten-week layover being a nanny in the middle of nowhere. That story is one for a later time though. I in the end, left, moving to Tampa, Florida. I moved here on Valentine’s day in 2016, in a span of three months I had found a great job, the love of my life, and have made a life here. Now my whole immediate family lives here, my parents and sister and her family live within an hour’s drive.
Another area of my life that I have a hard time accepting and working through is my health. When I moved to Florida and in the first few months of living here, I was the healthiest physically that I have ever been. I was also working only 30ish hours a week on my feet and moving constantly in a retail store. I had my afternoons free to swim and nap at my pleasure and it was a glorious couple of months. By mid-summer though, I started my job at a law firm and work currently 8-9 hours a day at a desk. I gained about 100 pounds working at a desk for 8-9+ hours a day. I have an auto-immune illness, that involves chronic pain, and at time limited mobility. I am continuously learning and working to get my health back on track. It’s learning how to live with all of that and trying to balance my health with good habits that life is all about these days.
The flip side is mental health, and the struggle that physical health plays into mental health. My ailments don’t make dealing with my mental health a cake walk. It’s a continuous conscious effort. I often find myself comparing my life to what I think it should be for myself rather than focusing on all of the immense blessings in our lives. It’s a daily battle sometimes to stay above the water. I work hard not to let those thoughts and attitudes define me. I have at times debilitating anxiety, I constantly have to ground myself and remember to breathe. I’ve come a very long way from where I started on this anxious journey, but I am by no means over it. There are parts of my life clouded by PTSD and Depression, and it’s so important to acknowledge those times. Health is all encompassing, there are many areas that effect my wellbeing and I have to be vigilant to all of them. When one area is out of balance it effects another.
My husband and I eloped on Friday July 13th, 2018 and I am over the moon happy and blessed to be living my life in this crazy world. I didn’t date until I moved to Tampa, fell off the deep end hard into the dating realm and quickly realized I wasn’t cut out for dating in the modern age. Thankfully, in my brief dip into the dating pool I found this totally obnoxious know-it-all that totally and completely rocked my world and loved me from the day he let himself do so. I found my best friend, the person I want to hold my hand in the good and the bad. I am a very lucky girl. We’ve had our ups and downs, and struggled through our lives to get to this point and I’m so proud we’ve made it here. Like anyone else, we have dreams and aspirations and in time we will achieve what we have set out to do.
Life is changing at break neck speed, and I just want to take you along for the ride. I choose to be an overcomer, and I will work to get what I want in life. Everything happens in God’s perfect timing, with prayer, faith, and hope. If I can say anything to encourage you, it’s just to keep going, don’t give, and keep moving forward. At the end of the day, if you focus on the good and what matters in life, you will feel a lot better than bad that comes in with it.
Good comes even from the bad, and hard moments. Strength from struggle, and lessons from the lemons that life throws at you.